Chapter 2

With two days left before the deadline, Mom asked me to come back to the house and help Stella find a video of one of her childhood ballet competitions.

Stella pulled out several family albums and eagerly showed them to me.

"This was when I was seven. Our whole family went to that beach house."

"This was Brandon's middle school graduation. Dad took us to a ranch in Montana."

"This was last Christmas."

Every picture had the same four people.

Mom.

Dad.

Brandon.

Stella.

It didn't take me long to notice that the dates matched the school breaks and holidays when I'd asked to visit and been turned down.

When I was nine, Dad said the factory wouldn't give him Christmas off.

But in the photo, Brandon was riding on his shoulders at a theme park while Mom held Stella's hand.

At twelve, I'd asked Mom to attend the awards ceremony for a statewide writing competition.

She said she couldn't get off the production line.

That same day, she'd sat in an auditorium recording every second of Stella's first piano recital.

The summer after my freshman year of high school, Dad told me Brandon was away at school, Stella lived with our aunt, and he and Mom worked opposite shifts.

There was supposedly no one home to stay with me.

But that summer, the four of them went to the beach.

In one video, Dad laughed into the camera.

"Our family's first time seeing the ocean!"

I stared at those words for a long time.

So they'd always had vacations.

They'd always had time for their children.

I just wasn't included when they said "our family."

Even Brandon looked surprised when he heard me.

"Mom and Dad always told us you didn't want to leave Grandpa and Grandma. They said you didn't want to come on our trips."

Stella nodded.

"Mom said you didn't want to come home."

I looked up at Mom.

"So you told me you couldn't afford three kids."

"And you told them I was the one who didn't want you?"

At first, Mom tried to explain.

"Things really were difficult financially in the beginning."

Then she changed her argument.

"Later, you'd already gotten used to life on the farm."

"Changing schools suddenly would've hurt your grades."

"What about after things got better?"

"You bought this house."

"Brandon and Stella got their own rooms. Why didn't you bring me back then?"

Her mouth opened.

No answer came out.

Dad stepped out of the study.

"What matters is the outcome."

"You grew up perfectly fine on the farm, didn't you?"

"Your grandparents had someone to keep them company, and we could focus on taking care of your brother and sister."

"The arrangement worked for everyone."

I looked at him.

"Did 'everyone' include me?"

His expression darkened.

"Why do you insist on digging up the past?"

"You were always the most mature one. That's why we trusted you enough to leave you there."

That was when I finally understood.

It wasn't that they didn't know I'd wanted my parents, too.

I simply hadn't screamed or cried.

Losing me had been the easiest option.

Stella pulled a new itinerary out from underneath the photo albums.

"Look, Wren."

"After my performance, Mom and Dad are taking me to the beach."

The flights, hotel rooms, and seats had already been booked.

Still for four people.

Brandon hesitated.

"Should we add another ticket?"

Dad rejected the idea without a second thought.

"She'll go back to the farm after she's done with her paperwork."

"Adding someone at the last minute will mess up all our plans."

Mom pushed Stella's suitcase toward me, along with some supplements she'd bought for Grandpa and Grandma.

"Help Stella pack. Don't forget her allergy medication or ballet shoes."

"And take these back with you. Don't tell Grandpa and Grandma we're going to the beach. Just say we're busy with work."

All these years, they hadn't just expected me to accept being left behind.

They expected me to help maintain the lie.

I didn't touch Stella's suitcase.

And I didn't agree to lie for them.

Dad immediately lost his temper.

"Ever since you came back, you've done nothing but upset this family."

I asked calmly, "If I've never been part of your family plans, why should I help you keep pretending we're one big happy family?"

That night, I called Grandpa.

"Grandpa, after I finish my paperwork... I'm not going back to Riverton."

He was quiet for a moment.

He didn't ask what had happened.

He only said, "Go wherever you want to go."

"Grandpa will always support you."