Chapter 5

Ethan came home very early.

He didn't come to our room immediately. Instead, he went to the balcony to smoke a cigarette.

He had quit smoking the day we got married.

But meeting Serena again seemed to have thrown him off balance.

After his shower, he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

Aside from when we were in bed, we had never had this kind of physical intimacy.

He asked in a low voice,

"Should we talk..."

Talk about what? The divorce?

My breath caught, and my body instinctively went stiff.

"Never mind," he changed the subject.

"Why did you call me today?"

Our saved phone numbers were practically useless.

We only messaged on Snapchat occasionally and never called.

I didn't know what to say.

And I didn't have the energy to say it anyway.

"Accidental dial? No wonder you hung up so fast."

He quickly came up with an explanation.

That night, his kisses in bed were meticulous and unusually gentle.

But I actually preferred his wild, unchecked side.

At those moments, I could catch a glimpse of the seventeen-year-old boy he used to be.

They say loving someone makes you childish.

I had seen him playfully mess up his lover's hair, laughing freely and wildly.

I had also seen him stand up for her, fighting until he was bleeding.

But in front of me, he never showed any emotion. He was always quiet and distant.

Precisely because I had seen how he loved someone,

I knew clearly that Ethan did not love me.

I didn't know what to do.

I had no friends or family to confide in.

Except Grandma Evelyn.

That entire afternoon, I stared at the rose in front of me—the one I had carefully tended to, yet it had still withered.

I had watered it, loosened the soil, and cut off the dead leaves.

But when some flowers withered, no amount of saving could bring them back.

I wondered if marriage followed the same rule.

I asked softly,

"Grandma, if a flower can't be saved, what should I do?"

She smiled.

"Then don't save it."

"Pull it out and make room for a new one."

She gently patted my hand.

"Not everything is worth wasting a lifetime on."

Yes, I should just let it go.

Autumn was coming.

I didn't swap out the clothes in my closet for the new season.

My body wash was running out.

But I didn't stock up during the big sale like I usually did.

I packed many of my clothes into cardboard boxes.

Ethan looked at the half-empty closet, confusion in his voice.

"Where are your clothes?"

"I'm planning to donate them to the foster home."

I lied.

I just didn't want to be in a rush when I left, so I was preparing early.

Even the speech to bring up the divorce had been rehearsed hundreds of times in my head.

That night, he was working in the study.

I stood outside, taking three deep breaths before failing to turn the doorknob.

Ethan was sitting at his desk, holding his phone to his ear with one hand while rubbing his temples with the other.

He looked exhausted, and his voice sounded incredibly soft.

"Serena, I can handle the issues on my end anytime. It's been too long, and I don't want to wait anymore..."

I didn't have the courage to hear the rest.

I quietly stepped back and gently closed the door.

I felt so pathetic.

Ethan was more impatient than me, yet he was much better at hiding it.

Divorce was something I had to treat with absolute seriousness.

I needed to be fully prepared psychologically and bring it up at the right time.

But he didn't care at all.

Perhaps he was just waiting for the exact moment he and Serena officially got back together.

Then he would notify me of the divorce and "handle" me.

I was the one taking it too seriously.

I had placed too much weight on this marriage of convenience.

That night, I still brought up the divorce.

I chose the most abrupt moment, using the most casual tone.

As Ethan was passionately kissing my ear,

I turned my head away, my face expressionless.

"Ethan, let's get a divorce."